Child Abuse: Lost Innocence

by Philip Ellis, Ph.D.

Most of us find it difficult to imagine how anyone could abuse infants and children. We can't comprehend it. It doesn't make sense to us. In the past, our society has tried to deny it and pretend that such abuse did not exist. However, child abuse has become one of the most prominent and acknowledged problems in America today.

For many years, the enormity of the problem was simply inconceivable. Two factors brought the concerns and difficulties associated with abuse to the forefront of social consciousness. First was admitting the problems of child abuse. The second was acknowledging that abuse is present in families of all cultures, religions, and socioeconomic classes. Experts now recognize child abuse as a severe problem with potentially harmful and even devastating effects on children and adults who were abused as children.

Popular and clinical writings use varying definitions of child abuse. For the most part, child abuse includes physical harm, sexual contact ranging from fondling to rape, neglect of physical well-being, and emotional harm through verbal abuse and withholding of appropriate emotional interaction. Often children are victims of several forms of mistreatment.

Not every abused child develops emotional or psychiatric problems. However, child abuse does seem to increase the likelihood of difficulties that include:

• aggression toward or avoidance of others
• hyperactivity
• anxiety
• emotional withdrawal
• mild to severe delays in physical and emotional growth
• sexualized behaviors
• victimization of other children.

Clearly, abuse contributes to a child's concept of life. This may include a sense of loss of a good and just world, a negative outlook, and a lack of trust in others or self. Children thrive on a sense of the mother or father being good and caring and even all-powerful. When this person is also abusive, that interferes with the sense of goodness and fairness. Children feel fear in relation to their parents' powerfulness. They lose their security.

This makes these children more vulnerable to other abuses. Neglected or emotionally deprived children may succumb to the seduction that is part of sexual abuse. They may lose sight of their right to be safe. They may feel the only emotional involvement they have is through an abusive experience. Similarly, physically abused children come to learn that they are "objects" of abuse. Some even inadvertently behave in ways that increase the likelihood of further abuse.

Sometimes as children try to make sense and gain control over these life experiences, they become victims of adults who do not respect children or who seek child victims as ways of dealing with their own problems and frustrations.

Unfortunately, the repercussions of abuse are widespread. One is the alarming increase of aggressive, abusive behaviors in young people.

Children who are abuse victims are much more likely to abuse others than their non-abused peers. Some of the most violent and aggressive crimes are committed by 12- to 13-year-old children. Most of them have experienced some form of abuse earlier in life.

As amazing as it may seem, the FBI Uniform Crime Reporting Section reports that 103 children under age 10 were arrested for rape in 1994. Other records show that in the 10-12 age group, the number of rape arrests grew from 90 in 1970 to 442 in 1994.

Perhaps one of the most difficult questions for parents and professionals to struggle with is whether or not a particular experience or event is "abusive." Some forms of abuse-beating, starving, or sexual contact-are fairly obvious in their abusive nature. However, some experiences are less obvious, but still may be harmful to the child now or later in his/her life.

At times, the judgment is up to law enforcement officials or Protective Services workers because most professionals-including teachers, physicians, and mental health professionals-are required to report suspected abuse.

It's equally important for parents and others concerned with the child's well being to be able to identify abuse. Some rather simple observations may help you assess the child's response to a potentially abusive experience. Some of the most frequent signs of the impact of abuse are:

• change or difference in manner
• change in the way the child responds to parents or peers (other children)
• fears and nightfears or "nightmares"
• increasingly aggressive style
• increasingly withdrawn style
• moodiness.

Remember that abuse is not the only developmental event that can cause these symptoms. Some level of each symptom may even be appropriate as the child grows emotionally and physically. For example, moodiness is a normal trait in a teenager, and interest in sexuality is normal at most ages.

Treatment for abuse centers on establishing control and removing a sense of blame. Children need to feel that their world is in control and is a relatively safe place to be. Given world-and even local-events, such security is more and more difficult to maintain.

For abused children, the abusive experience significantly impairs this sense of security. Children often blame themselves for the abuse. Adults who abuse children may encourage them to feel the blame or to fear the consequences if they tell someone about what has happened to them.

Abused children need to move from the position of victim to the position of "survivor." It's important for them to regain a sense of a fair world where they can be safe and to develop or reestablish a positive self-esteem. Abused children must recover a sense of security in their interaction with others and avoid the cyclical pattern of revictimization. They need to know they are not to blame and to rediscover a sense of being loved and cared for as a person, not an object of abuse.

Getting help for the child, or the adult abused as a child, is important in helping them regain a sense of control and positive view of life. Abuse victims are much more likely to be abused repeatedly. They also are more likely to become abusive to their siblings and peers-and someday to their spouse and children. The cycle can be broken when people note the effects of abuse and seek treatment.

Child abuse is an almost inconceivable act. Yet, this inconceivable act happens in homes all around us. Every day. In our country, community, neighborhood, and churches. Even in our own families.

In the following articles, mental health professionals address the issues of different types of abuse. As parents, grandparents, professionals, church members, or in whatever capacity we come into contact with children, we can help stop abuse and help support the care and treatment of abuse victims.