Keeping the Faith Memory Safe

By Rev. Rozanne Meyer Bruins, MDiv, BCC

"I think the Lord keeps our memories safe for us," wrote a parishioner to my mother who had dementia. While my mother could not process those words at that point in her dementia process, they encouraged me to help the Lord keep Mom's faith memory safe. She would not forget God loved her; she would not forget she belonged to God.

This ministry of keeping the faith memory safe has its roots in the faith community-the Church, with its memory-building sacraments, with its memory-rich hymns and liturgies, with its memory-grounding readings from the scriptures, and with its memory-nurturing community.

As a chaplain, I represent the Church to all those I serve, including persons who have dementia. Together with the Church and with caregivers and family members, I am entrusted with the safe-keeping of faith memory. Together, we can embrace that holy responsibility to stimulate that worship connection with God, which reminds all of us: God loves me; I belong to God.

But just how is that done? Perhaps you have heard these negative or discouraging comments about persons with dementia: "He's so out of it-why bother with worship services?" "She won't remember anyway . . .no need for pastor visits. . .no need for Holy Communion." These comments are incorrect and they give dementia the last word. There is another way. Let's begin with music. . .

MUSIC
King Saul in the Old Testament knew music's power to soothe his soul and often called for David's harp music. Familiar hymns also soothe the soul and connect us to our faith community, in spite of our level of cognitive loss. Even a person not able to converse with caregivers, will quietly sing the right words to her over-learned and much-loved church's hymn, "Have Thine Own Way Lord."

Those of us who partner together to keep the faith memory safe can use familiar hymns, singing or humming, as we push a wheelchair, as we hold a hand, as we lull our loved one to sleep. Upon hearing her favorite hymn "In the Garden," one person with cognitive loss responded quietly, "At times that is all you have. . .the song God gives you. Those words get you through the things you don't understand."

Tucked in the area of the brain where the shadows of dementia cannot reach is familiar music. This music safeguards one's faith memory.

SCRIPTURES
Psalm 23, John 14 and other familiar passages provide cues to recover the faith memory. Reading is a skill a person with a progressive dementia like Alzheimer's disease maintains for a long time. Prepare large print cards with your loved one's favorite scripture verses to read together. The use of visual and touch also cues memory. Use a nativity scene with figures in re-telling Luke 2, for example.

Scripture brings comfort and connects us with God. Using scripture also gives us the opportunity to profess our faith. Ask the question, "What is it you and I believe about our Lord and Savior?" Then recite John 3:16 slowly, pausing at familiar words to invite response.

Professing one's faith is a faith-building exercise, if even for the moment. Remember that Christ himself modeled "in the moment" ministry, as he healed the woman with the blood disease, welcomed the children to climb onto his lap, invited the thief on the cross to join him in Paradise. . .

COMFORT AND FAITH
I observed at a worship service one person with significant cognitive loss who seemed to be asleep. At the close of the service, I put my hand on her shoulder and slowly recited Psalm 23. Her lips moved inaudibly, For thou art with me. Amen.

Familiar scriptures, like familiar hymns, can hide from dementia's shadows, providing us holy space to connect with God. God loves me; I belong to God.

PRAYERS
The Lord's Prayer is the beautiful overlearned response one remembers. Include it in your visits with loved ones who have dementia. And invite their prayers: "Lloyd, what would you have us pray for this afternoon? What are your needs and hopes?" Then wait for the response.

When I ask this question, I've heard responses like these: "Pray for my mother. She just died." While her mother had died many years before, we stayed in the moment of grief and prayed for comfort. "Pray for the church in heaven," requested another person. "God has forgotten me," stated another. Weaving a crying out prayer of lament and petition, we prayed as the faith community. We could do that. Our faith memory was safe.

HOLY COMMUNION
The senses of taste, touch, and smell escape dementia's grip. They, along with the familiar and rich liturgy, "Take, eat, remember and believe.," allow all to use those still-active senses and often offer Communion in a person's faith tradition. The Church has the wonderful opportunity to take the lead in this ministry.

CONCLUSION
Frequent phrases used in this article include faith memory, in the moment. These phrases do not give dementia the last word; the last word belongs to God. Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. (Isaiah 43.1) God keeps our faith memory safe.

Note: For more information regarding specialized worship liturgies for persons with dementia focusing on those who live in a long term care facility, please see the worship handbook, Evening Star, offered through the Faith Alive Christian Resources from Christian Reformed Church Publications, 800/333-8300 or www.faithaliveresources.org.