|
By Ruth Zwald Staal, M.Div.
Adolescence is a time when teenagers' views of themselves and their world
is changing. They search for answers to life's questions. As they seek
to make meaning, young people begin to question ideas in a way that they
had not questioned as a child. It can be a time for them to clarify and
embrace religious values--or a time of rejecting and rebelling against
such values.
Charles Shelton, in his book Adolescent Spirituality, defines
spirituality as those things concerned with "personal response to
and growth in the Lord." Spirituality, he asserts, happens within
the context of community. If we want to examine how adolescents grow spiritually,
we must take seriously the developmental issues they are facing. Then
we must begin to examine how those issues have an impact on religious
ideas.
In my work with adolescents, I have found that issues of spirituality
fall in one of three religious tasks or emphases:
- Renaming Self
- Relationships
- Redefining Values
Each of these tasks speaks to the broader issues
of adolescent development, as well as the specific issues of spiritual
growth. We'll look at each task separately, first exploring the developmental
happenings. Next we'll examine the faith issues present. Finally, you'll
find some suggestions as to how we can minister to and with youth as they
face those tasks.
Renaming Self
Developmentally
Adolescents are flooded with identity concerns. Their sense of self
is constantly forming and reforming. Similar to trying on clothes, adolescents
keep searching until they find the style and the fit that feels right.
Issues of self-esteem loom large for teenagers as they try to define who
they are. They compare themselves to others. They make judgments as to
whether they are smart enough or attractive enough or athletic enough
or whatever the standard may be.
Adolescents are in the process of emancipating from their family. This
process of breaking free from the family identity often causes conflict.
They may react against family rules or expectations. They complain about
being embarrassed when they are with their parents in public.
Often the teenage years are a time of literal "renaming." Tommy
suddenly demands to be called Tom and becomes angry when his parents forget
to honor his wish. Or Chris decides she wants to be called by her middle
name, Elizabeth, because she likes a more feminine name.
All of this is a part of adolescents forming their identity, seeking
to claim their unique place in the world.
Faith Issues
Part of identity formation also involves religious questioning. As adolescents
seek to discover themselves, they may respond to religion in a number
of ways.
As part of their identity search, some teenagers may reject the family's
religious values. Teenagers may try to rename themselves in a variety
of ways. Some may refuse to attend church. Others might call their parents
hypocrites. Still others explore religious beliefs different from their
heritage.
On the other hand, adolescence can be a time of deep religious commitment
and involvement. A teenager who chooses to make religion an important
component of his or her identity may become an active member of the church
or community.
In either case, teenagers are trying to find their own expression of
faith. They are seeking to rename themselves in a way that fits for them.
That may mean that they "try on" various styles of religious
expression, but it is all part of the task of identity formation.
Faith Tasks
It may be important not to fight your teenager who wants to rebel by rejecting
the family faith values. Having a battle each Sunday morning before church
doesn't put anyone in a worshipful mood. Nor does it usually change your
teenager's mind so that suddenly he or she wants to attend with the family.
Allowing a young person to choose non-involvement doesn't necessarily
imply passivity on the part of the parent or the child.
Ideally, this is a chance to talk about the issue together. Both sides
can clarify their views, and you can find alternatives. For instance,
if your son or daughter states that worship is boring because it is irrelevant,
negotiate. Perhaps they could attend a youth group weekly instead. Or
suggest they try other churches that might have different worship styles.
This process of "letting go" is not easy. But as parents or
youth leaders, we need to trust that God will continue to operate in the
life of the young person, even if the young person is choosing differently.
Another crucial element in identity formation issues is providing a number
of ways that teens can experience faith, rather than just talk about it.
Take young people on retreats or involve them in work camps. Allowing
youth leadership possibilities in the church or community can foster positive,
personal expressions of faith. Such experiences make it easier for youth
to see ways that faith can become a vital part of their identity.
Relationships
Developmentally
As identity forms for adolescents, it most often takes place in relationships.
As teenagers seek to find some group they can feel part of, peer relationships
become key.
Teenagers come to rely on their peer group as a place where they find
identity. Most peer groups form around a particular interest or ability.
For instance, the teens who are interested in drama and who are involved
in school plays may naturally form a group. Other examples are groups
that form around athletic interests, musical ability, free-time activities,
and so forth. Some of these groups may be inclusive, always inviting and
incorporating new members. Other groups may be exclusive and become labeled
as a clique.
The important developmental issue for adolescents is that they belong
somewhere. They must have a group in which they can try out and live out
their identity struggles.
Believe it or not, adult relationships are also crucial to adolescents.
Having significant role models or mentors outside of the family unit is
important.
Faith Issues
Relationships are important to a young person's religious formation. Creating
a place to belong is one of the secrets of success to organizations such
as "Young Life" or to vital youth groups within the church setting.
Today, we find many young people turning to involvement in cults out of
their longing to belong and to be an important member of a group. If the
religious community is not meeting adolescents' needs for peer relationships
and adult role models, they will find it elsewhere.
This emphasis on relationship allows for a deeper relationship between
teenagers and God in a way that had not been present previously in their
life. The task of building and defining the relationship to God becomes
crucial. The relationship emphasis allows the young person, often for
the first time, to see Jesus as friend and companion. Additionally, having
role models who are living out a faithful lifestyle allows young people
the chance to reflect on ways they would like to integrate such beliefs
into their own identity.
Faith Tasks
Creating a place to belong, a place where young people feel welcome and
important, is essential to addressing adolescent spiritual growth.
Youth groups within the church need to be places that build group cohesiveness
and foster a sense of belonging. Having a routine of what happens within
the course of a youth group meeting can provide security for participants.
If young people are aware of the normal flow of a meeting--such as the
movement from games to group singing to a Bible study--they are more likely
to feel at home. On the other hand, if they worry about being put on the
spot or if there is no clear sense of group identity, the chances are
that they will resist becoming involved.
An important task for a group is exploring their feelings about relationships.
Programs and Bible studies that focus on relationships to God, to peers,
and to parents and families help adolescents explore and define their
beliefs.
Given the need for role models, the leaders of the group are also key.
While young adults may have the needed energy for fun activities, they
often don't have the maturity of faith an older adult could provide. In
addressing the relational aspects of spirituality, it's helpful to have
a balance of the type of leadership.
Redefining Values
Developmentally
As adolescents rename themselves and develop meaningful relationships,
they are constantly defining their values. They raise questions about
what they have been taught to value. They often have to decide about what
they will choose to value. Peer pressure complicates values reflection,
as certain groups push behaviors or attitudes that the young person is
uncertain about. Suddenly a young person is faced with a decision of whether
to drink or to try drugs at a party. Or a teenager may feel pressure to
become sexually active because his or her peers boast of their sexual
escapades. It is a difficult time of decisions and redefining values.
Adolescents are also capable of abstract thinking. For the first time,
they can begin to see situations or ideas from another person's perspective.
At times this broadens their world view. At others, it narrows it. Adolescents
often see the world from a legalistic, or black-and-white, perspective.
They can become legalistic about whatever values they hold, be they positive
or negative.
Faith Issues
It is difficult to find ways to enable a teenager to live out of a
religious value system. Too often we give young people a long list of
"shoulds" and "should nots." We don't help them understand
why those values exist. It is also our tendency to give quick answers
to the moral and value questions that adolescents raise. We should take
the time to explore the questions or to explore all the possible responses
that a young person could choose to make.
Let's go back to the example of a young person feeling pressured to drink.
While we may hold strong values that it is wrong for a minor to consume
alcohol, stating that opinion or preventing teenagers from attending suspected
parties does not help adolescents struggle with their own values. It may
prove to be more helpful to spend time with your teenager, hearing from
her or him what the pressure is like. Then, together, list the pros and
cons of the decision she or he is facing. Articulate your own views in
the course of that discussion. Brainstorm ways that she or he could handle
a pressured situation. Let young people choose their course of action,
and offer your support. By doing so, you are enabling their redefinition
of values.
In the midst of identity formation, adolescents need to have the choice
of their own response to any given situation. Hopefully they will look
to the role models that the religious community is providing. Perhaps
those models will speak about value decisions through their words and
actions.
Faith Tasks
Certainly a major part of the faith experience is to pose values-laden
experiences to adolescents. Capitalize on their ability for abstract thinking
by using role plays to explore values.
A youth group setting is ideal for this. Have the group come up with
a difficult situation a typical teenager might face. Then get volunteers
from the group to act out the various roles. Explore with them the feelings
and reactions that each role player might feel. It is often interesting
to add the role of "God" to the role play situation. Explore
how God might act in the presence of this situation. All of this allows
adolescents to feel what it's like to live in someone else's skin, and
then to compare that to their own reactions and values.
Instead of handing down a list of what should be values, explore with
adolescents the Bible passages that speak to value situations. Then relate
the passage to their present day experiences. If a youth group is exploring
the subject of lying or cheating, find a concordance and look up passages
that deal with deceit. If a group is looking at the influence of peer
pressure, search the Bible for stories where a Biblical character went
along with the crowd. Bringing the Bible alive for young people will facilitate
values defining. Your discussion should allow adolescents to freely express
their ideas, thoughts, and feelings.
Providing experiences in which adolescents can live out positive religious
values is very important to their spiritual development. On-going service
projects--such as working with a local food pantry, assisting at a nursing
home, or providing after-school child care for low-income families--help
adolescents live out and experience ways that religious values make a
difference. Explore with them why we do what we do and affirm their own
positive choices. This provides helpful direction during their time of
redefining values.
In conclusion, it is evident that the developmental tasks an adolescent
faces has much to do with religious formation. We must understand that
adolescents are seeking to rename themselves in the context of relationships
that demand a redefining of values. It is a time of change and opens exciting
possibilities for religious growth. As we see the spiritual dimensions
of the developmental tasks, we have a clearer understanding of how we
can encourage positive spirituality in adolescents.
|
